Blank mind on board a Ferry

April 24, 2009

Onboard a ferry sailing toward Merak. I try to write another update.

I paid another 6000 IDR to the two cute girls who guarding the business class. I have to enter that freezing room to save my lungs from evil smokers who roaming in the economy class. Evil addicts who loves to poisoning their own body, and forcing everyone near to join the self destruction.

This room is a very clean one. The floor, the walls, the chairs… Hm, think it more like a sofa. Enough for three butts, I can lie down like a rolled cat, purring comfortably in an angel’s lap.

The extreme coldness in the air conditioned room make me feel melancholy. Suddenly I really miss her. Her hug. Her warmth. Her smile.

Then I feel sad. The same stupid sadness which already disturb me for so many times.

Try to sleep, failed. Playing games on my phone, bored. Then i remember that i must write for this blog.

But what should I write? My brain is almost blank, might be caused by too much vibrations from the rotten bus I rode for 5 hour before get into this ship.

Well, now I write it all. All the ‘blank’ as an update.

Darn, this blog is becoming too much like a diary.

To make it different, I need to add something so anyone read it got something useful.

This, i hope will useful you, something I said to myself recently when i feel very lonely, and chasing some girl as an escape: it is stupid, stop it πŸ˜›

Arrived at Merak seaport, welcome to Java. Only few more hour before my sane civilized life.

Thank You Mister

April 23, 2009

Today, I realized, that I don’t know what is love. Or how to love.

I thought it was love, but it was not.

What I feel is urge to own, to control, to posses, to limit. Plus so many fear. Of loosing, of separated, of lonelyness, of etc. Oftenly, out of jealously. And greed. And egoistic lusts.

So I thank you Mr Zaman, for taking my beloved angel away. Thank you for ruining my heart. Thank you for destroying my fake love. Thank you for saving her from my stupidities. From the stupid illusions.

I wish you both blessed life, full with true love, and happiness. Forever.

I thank you from the deepest of my heart.

Thank You.

Compassionate Butcher

April 22, 2009

A homo asked Mr Butcher, “Why are you keep saying that?”

“What?” Mr Butcher feel disturbed. He continue to slaughters the next cow while his lips whispering something.

“That, the mantra you said in each killing. Why you saying it while killing the poor cows? What is that means? ”

“This is a must. My religion required me to do it in each killing. Because we only eat meat which killed in the name of God. It means: ‘in the name of God, the most compassionate’.”

The homo confused. “What kind of compassion which allowed killing peaceful animals? Are you worshipping a bloodthirsty God?”

“Shut up you blasphemer! Go away!” Mr Butcher got angry, he hate when someone else judging his God as bad.


I am sleepy. You have to continue the story by yourself.

blogging using very slow connection

April 21, 2009

Right now, I am at Tulang Bawang. A region where Telkomsel Flash’s network not existed yet. So I am forced to use GPRS only connection.

The speed is insanely slow, you’ll need eons to open BCA, and you wont have enough lifetime to open Bank Mandiri‘s ultra heavy site.

To protect my sanity, i decided to stop after some failed transactions. Then before i unplug my cell phone, suddenly I remembered that I must write an update for this blog.

BUT, using this hellish connection, how could I fullfill my stupid ‘continuous 21 update’ ??

Fortunately, i remembered A mobile version of’s interface. It is light enough to be loaded easily.

So i write this offline using scribefire (a firefox addon), give it some links, copy the HTML source, then paste it on wordpress’s mobile post page. Kun fa ya kun! Haha. *i wish this will work, i wont be able to edit it until i get back to my normal connection*


Protect Your Privacy

April 20, 2009

Just in case you dont know yet…

Using Firefox:

  1. press ctrl+shift+del
  2. check it all
  3. click ‘clear all my private data’

Using Opera:

  1. Go to ‘tools’ menu
  2. click ‘delete private data’
  3. click ‘detailed….’
  4. check em all
  5. delete

If you are on public PC or shared ones, you better do those rituals everytime you done with your browsing activity to clear your tracks. So it will be very difficult for the next user to know what you did and where you go.

There are more ‘track covering rituals’ for paranoid, you could ask google if you need some πŸ™‚


April 19, 2009

A cute friend asked me about a site named wealthsource dot org.

Thank You for asking, so I have a topic to write for today, hehe. So this article is my answer for you…

After i did a some ‘research’, I could say that the site is scam. An evil trick to get your money.

This article on will explain it further.

For a safer internet life, if you using firefox or IE, i suggest you install an addon made by WOT.

It will keep you safe from online scams, identity theft, spyware, spam, viruses and unreliable shopping sites. WOT warns you before you interact with a risky website. It’s easy and it’s free.

I have installed it on my Firefox. It works quite good for english sites, but quite weak for indonesian scam sites. Please be very careful πŸ™‚

Thank You

Self Discipline

April 18, 2009

I almost forgot to make an article for today. Almost fail to fulfill my commitment to write in 21 days continuously. Β Hehe. But I am not. Not yet.

So, because now is 23:22, I will not write a long article. I will just share a free ebook on how to improve self discipline in ten days.

You could read it online, or download it for offline reading.

This is the link: Self Discipline in 10 days

I have not read it completely yet, so i cant give any review πŸ™‚

stopping the poisonous addiction

April 17, 2009

It was Friday afternoon. The time go to mosque to do the Friday Prayer. I park my bike near one, instead of going to the mosque, i go to the bookstore near it. Spending some time there. Reading some books and then leaving without buying any. *evil*

There, inside that book store, i realized how the fear, planted by my religious teacher since i was a child, still rooted deeply inside my mind. Even though i freed myself from the fear of sin, and fear of god wrath. Still, i got disturbed by the fear of other people might think about myself.

When some religious looking girls look at me, and their eyes said “how pity, this handsome guy is not religious, he will go to hell for sure”. Or i worried, how if i met some friend who will asks why i did not go to the mosque. Or, how if i met old teachers who will ask me the same questions.

Somehow, i struggling to remind myself: “So what if I am not religious”; “they are not thinking what you think they are, and even if they are, so what?”; “So what if I’mΒ  a sinner and go to hell?”; “Stop that fictious guilty feeling!”

Haha, this fear based religious teaching really poisoned me.

But I am optimist. I successfully freed myself from smoke addiction, i believe i can free myself from this religious addiction.

Go for quantity first

April 16, 2009

Please forgive me for the content of this blog. Honestly, i go after the quantity. Not quality. I’m commited to write one article each day. Even in my busiest day. But i have not enough time to check and recheck. I write this article at evening, set it as scheduled post to automatically published at 6 in the next morning. Then i go straight to bed. Feeling ‘done’. Like when you were a child, you do your prayer as ‘obligation’, every time you done, you feel that ‘done feeling’. Understand what i mean?

Why i go for quantity?

This writing skill is very new for me. Imagine the new “channel of creativity” is still clogged. I need to flush it again and again with ample of “water” to make it clean, until it big enough for the stream to flow. This crazy drill of writing is the ‘water’ which will flush any clog.

Maybe after few more days, after about 21 day *hehe* it will enough, and i will start to pay attention to the quality.


Did you believe what i wrote?

Well, actually you could believe anything you want. ANYTHING! Even if it only an apology of a lazy writer πŸ˜›

Thats it. I done my ritual for today. In no more than 20 minutes. Great.

Thank You. If you are reading this, i feel sorry for you, i wish you get some insight, on how silly a learning process could be.

Thank You (again).

Should i do it with a friend?

April 15, 2009

Is it wrong if i make love with a friend without love?

How it will affect to my life, to her life, to the people around us?

What risks will arise?

How to do it safely? Hehe