Posts Tagged ‘addiction’

stopping the poisonous addiction

April 17, 2009

It was Friday afternoon. The time go to mosque to do the Friday Prayer. I park my bike near one, instead of going to the mosque, i go to the bookstore near it. Spending some time there. Reading some books and then leaving without buying any. *evil*

There, inside that book store, i realized how the fear, planted by my religious teacher since i was a child, still rooted deeply inside my mind. Even though i freed myself from the fear of sin, and fear of god wrath. Still, i got disturbed by the fear of other people might think about myself.

When some religious looking girls look at me, and their eyes said “how pity, this handsome guy is not religious, he will go to hell for sure”. Or i worried, how if i met some friend who will asks why i did not go to the mosque. Or, how if i met old teachers who will ask me the same questions.

Somehow, i struggling to remind myself: “So what if I am not religious”; “they are not thinking what you think they are, and even if they are, so what?”; “So what if I’m  a sinner and go to hell?”; “Stop that fictious guilty feeling!”

Haha, this fear based religious teaching really poisoned me.

But I am optimist. I successfully freed myself from smoke addiction, i believe i can free myself from this religious addiction.