Posts Tagged ‘love’

Blank mind on board a Ferry

April 24, 2009

Onboard a ferry sailing toward Merak. I try to write another update.

I paid another 6000 IDR to the two cute girls who guarding the business class. I have to enter that freezing room to save my lungs from evil smokers who roaming in the economy class. Evil addicts who loves to poisoning their own body, and forcing everyone near to join the self destruction.

This room is a very clean one. The floor, the walls, the chairs… Hm, think it more like a sofa. Enough for three butts, I can lie down like a rolled cat, purring comfortably in an angel’s lap.

The extreme coldness in the air conditioned room make me feel melancholy. Suddenly I really miss her. Her hug. Her warmth. Her smile.

Then I feel sad. The same stupid sadness which already disturb me for so many times.

Try to sleep, failed. Playing games on my phone, bored. Then i remember that i must write for this blog.

But what should I write? My brain is almost blank, might be caused by too much vibrations from the rotten bus I rode for 5 hour before get into this ship.

Well, now I write it all. All the ‘blank’ as an update.

Darn, this blog is becoming too much like a diary.

To make it different, I need to add something so anyone read it got something useful.

This, i hope will useful you, something I said to myself recently when i feel very lonely, and chasing some girl as an escape: it is stupid, stop it 😛

Arrived at Merak seaport, welcome to Java. Only few more hour before my sane civilized life.

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Thank You Mister

April 23, 2009

Today, I realized, that I don’t know what is love. Or how to love.

I thought it was love, but it was not.

What I feel is urge to own, to control, to posses, to limit. Plus so many fear. Of loosing, of separated, of lonelyness, of etc. Oftenly, out of jealously. And greed. And egoistic lusts.

So I thank you Mr Zaman, for taking my beloved angel away. Thank you for ruining my heart. Thank you for destroying my fake love. Thank you for saving her from my stupidities. From the stupid illusions.

I wish you both blessed life, full with true love, and happiness. Forever.

I thank you from the deepest of my heart.

Thank You.